REVEALED

It’s been over a year since I had my photo done for this project and for some reason I keep putting off the essay. It occurred to me that I must be avoiding the confrontation of my own spirituality for some reason. I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with spirituality, and especially religion, for as long as I can remember. My parents raised me as a Jehovah’s Witness. The first chance I got, which was 2 days after I turned 18, I left that and never looked back. The concepts of God and spirituality were frightening and overwhelming, required too much work for too little reward. At that time, all I knew for certain was that wouldn’t find spirituality in the Kingdom Hall. My scientific mind needed something more logical, concrete, and visible. My artistic soul needed something less restrictive, intolerant, and unrewarding. The next 10 years were spent avoiding any form of religion, which I was raised to believe was intricately and inseparably tied to spirituality.

During that time my sister, to whom I was very close, died unexpectedly. The incident left me with a nagging need to know where she was, what had happened to her, and how I could be close to her again. Several years later my daughter was born. In her I glimpsed the familiar love and radiance of my sister, along with the joy of getting to know a brand new little person. I began to understand that spirituality is the endless life cycle of energy and connection. My sister could be found in my daughter, in myself, in everything I wanted her to be in. I began to understand that life has no boundaries. I realized that spirituality is not found in a building or in a book. Nor is it what one person or group tells me it is. Spirituality is whatever I want it to be, is found wherever I want to find it. It is in people and relationships; it’s in the art we create and in the music we make. It is in the difference we made in someone’s life by the briefest interaction- a difference we often have no idea we even made. A little bit of our spirit is left behind in everyone and everything we touch, and this is spirituality.

This is my youngest son at only a few weeks old. Right now I find spirituality in the warmth and love of my children, in the happiness and comfort of my family, in the satisfaction I get from taking care of them every day, and in the pleasure of their gratitude shown by a little kiss on the cheek or a barely perceptible “I love you” in baby-speak or a homemade bookmark given to me for Mother‘s Day. Later in life this could change. The relationship I want with spirituality could become more traditional, more complicated, or more ritualistic. But for now, this is what spirituality is to me: the uncomplicated fulfillment of a deeper connection with the rhythm of life and with our Mother Earth, wherever one finds it. And right now this is all the spirituality I need.

~ Laura D.

I believe Spirit cannot be contained.

I believe... I've lost my marbles.

~ Derek I.

The night I decided to sign up for this photography session I had a series of nightmares. I dreamt I was a vacant person and that I was not a spiritual person. I dreamt of having doubts, and an empty heart, and a loss of something concrete to call my own.

My nightmares confirmed my worry that I would be judged without some label of religion, or pathway, to call my own. In truth, I have been searching, on and off, for something to hold on to. A religion to call my own. I was brought up to believe that religion meant spirituality and that you could not have one without the other.

I am not so sure that is true.

So, for right now, diving into my mid-thrives, I am a hodge-podge. I am a bits and pieces that I hold on to, that make me feel safe and welcome, that make me certain there is something Bigger out there.

Here is what I know:

I find my God in nature. In the sun and in the stars. I find him at the Grand Canyon and on a small pier overlooking a tiny lake in Wisconsin. I find him in the clean air, in rock formations, in the center of sunflowers.

I find Oneness in yoga class. We students gather, barefoot and tired, and sit in oneness on our mats. I feel Oneness in my classmates. Who chant, and sweat, and reach to salute the sun together. We breathe together and bow to the teachings in soul, our teachers all around us, and to a divine spirit.

I find Spirit in love. In weddings. In a child's love. In a cat's eyes. In a friend's hugs. I feel that love connects us all and reminds us that we are a species that must connect.

I find Angels and Ghosts in theatres. I have felt the presence of ghosts while performing a show and feeling a presence of an old actor in the wings. I find ancestors n personal jewelry. I have rings from my Aunt Freda and from my grandmother, who I only knew as an infant. When I look at them or wear them I feel their energy. I have a knowing that these women are watching over me and protecting me. They do not judge or interfere, they just watch.

I was saved from a car accident once when I was eight, and once again as an adult when I was twenty-seven. Each time I felt a pull, a force, reach for the back of my shirt and pull me away from disaster. I believe it was my grandmother. I believe it was the force of God. I believe that it was not my time, and there is a reason, unknown to me yet, that I was saved.

When I think of that feeling, that pulling sensation, I am overwhelmed. I know for sure there is something out there in the world that is watching over each and every one of us. My guardian is my grandmother. Who I hardly knew in this life. When I was born, she was dying. But she held me, and talked to me and I feel certain she made me a promise. She's got my back.

I find my Spirituality when I am alone. When I see water. When I reflect on a sunset. When I sit in meditation or in stillness. When I pray.

I also find my Spirituality in angel readings, in Taro. A higher force guides me through the selection of cards and they remind me that I am not alone on my journey. I travel with a big posse.

~Ericka K.

A journey, the quest for exploration and the seeking of what a path might bestow. Either a physical manifestation or a pondering whim, the keystones which I need to fill an existence with stories, knowledge, and strength, will be unveiled to me from my experiences on that journey.

The unrelenting impulse of quest has brought forth the gifts of both touching and sensing the grace of worldly places, and the accompaniment of cultures in spaces unfamiliar. This same pulse, however, which fills me with life, has taken the lead role in deterring settlement and commitment.

I believe that each soul has many journeys in which they wish to embark. They can contradict, as in the soldier striving for peace preparing to fight the war, they can endure through time, as my Grandparent's journey has through understanding and partnership for 60 years, and they can be as dreamy as wanting to extend my arms atop foreign mountain cliffs and float in every sea.

Though I predict how I select my journeys will morph and become influenced by outcomes along the way, every turn of events will be that which has propelled me forward this whole time, the opening for a new journey. I simply must just dare to voyage.

~Sky P.

I carry within me a deep fascination for the unseen, for that which is hidden and not evident to the naked eye. The mysteries of worlds, and universes beyond that which we cannot truly fathom.

As a Spirit Medium I know with absolute certainty that there is afterlife, that there is existence of powerful energy which can only be described as pure love in eternity. It is that place where all our souls seek wisdom and solace, when we loose sight of our true paths. It is a place where all our souls connect, we are all part of the powerful energy in eternity and we are all one. It is the place of our origin and our destination.

Life is an ever changing energy from one second to the next. There is no future, there is no past. There is no time. There is only now. It is in the now that I attempt mindfulness. For that reason, I have no regrets I only have profound faith, and I try to live in a moment of peace and love.

Growing up in a Iceland, where trees were scarce, and lava fields and glaciers were in abundance. Being surrounded by rough sees and a rugged coastline, I gained deep respect for life and death. It was a home of peace, tranquility, adventure and magnificent energy, yet with constant reminders of my ancestors' hard lives.

The symbols in my box, represent life and death and the beauty of that ever evolving cycle. It represents toughness and fragility of life. And the compass is a symbol of my direction in life. Knowing always where home is, knowing always that I am in the right place at the right time for the right reason, having a profound experience.

I am deeply touched by the evolution of souls and the wisdom of eternity.

~Sirry B.

I was a child who was "born under the red flag" during the Culture Revolution. From a very young age, I came to witness deaths of too many, including my own close-to-death events and the bereavement of my desolation. In China, to converse about the departed ones was totally foreign; you were simply expected to carry on with your life. Prisoner of my own despair, I became the architect of my heartache and learned to assemble walls to conceal the stubborn unyielding losses. While I sealed the poignant chapters behind, bits and pieces of my own self were buried among them. Life had to continue and there was no way I was to look back. I simply did not know how. There were times that I couldn't help but to speculate if there was such thing as "bad Karma" or maybe that destiny was casting a joke upon me.

I truly believe since I had observed so many deaths that they had shaped and defined who I am. There were, and always would be times, when seemed my late loved ones were dying all over again, especially during the toughest hours of my life. I don't think I could stop missing them nor that I ever should. Nonetheless, I am no longer the hostage of my own everlasting grief and edgeless guilt. I rose through redemptions of self-forgiveness. My departed loved ones had transformed their compassion, wisdom, and love into me. Through that, we reincarnate in this life. My two beautiful children are their factual reflections on this earth. I am aware that every precious fleeting moment could be fragile, with the breath-taking splendor of life. I embody the connections; from death to life, struggle to triumph, and from the east to this west. There are teachings to be done. My children, they will discover and appreciate art in all its formations, they will learn to be thankful with what they have, they will try to give the best they possibly can, they will live with affection, kindness and simplicity in their hearts.

~Erin S.

My motivation, my energy, my spirit, my passion and my love comes from God and Music.

~Kelly B.

After looking through the photos with Scott, directly after the shoot, I don't remember being able to see the box and its contents well. I remember being excited to see what my face in this light would tell me, reveal to me, about myself.

I think I find my own existence, the self of me, to be a mystery. Do you know who you are? Can you ever, really?

My essence is my spirit, and my spirituality is a reflection of that. What is in the box is a journey through my development and the anchor is the doorway through which I came: my mother. That picture of her, anchoring the box, captures a vitality she maintained until she died.

Spirit is like Ether Low boiling point. Sweet oils of Vitriol (a cruel and bitter criticism). Luminiferous Ether: Light bearing ether: propagation of Light. Fragile. Changeling.

Isaac Newton: "...when a Ray of Light falls upon the Surface of any pellucid Body...I do not know what this Aether is... [particles] exceedingly smaller than those of Air, or even than those of Light: The exceeding smallness of its Particles may contribute to the greatness of the force by which those Particles may recede from one another, and thereby make that Medium exceedingly more rare and elastick than Air, and by consequence exceedingly less able to resist the motions of Projectiles, and exceedingly more able to press upon gross Bodies, by endeavoring to expand itself."

In sum:

I am of the Ether. Sweet Oil of Vitriol: a cruel and bitter criticism lives in me, creates me. Yet~ In the Light, in my smallness, through the vast space between me, and you we dodge the bullets, or spring back from the impact expansive and stronger than we know.

~Sara S.

I believe in handkerchiefs. Nothing is disposable and chivalry is great.

I believe in flowers on the table, a little bud vase next to the bed. I believe in flowers and there are several poets who can tell you why. They open, slowly, to the light. They are rooted in the dirt and emerge fresh. They grow. They toil not.

I believe in art, sex, laughter, anything that helps us communicate our experience to each other beyond the ego. Communication is incredibly difficult between humans, though we seem to talk endlessly.

I believe in contemplative spirituality: meditation, practices that reconnect us with our True Self and our direct experience of the world as co-dreamers of the world. My work is about this. Through meditation practice, it is possible to experience being in integral part of a whole living world. I believe the entire universe presents itself in each one of us. I believe in holism.

I believe in treating everything as an altar and everyone as a guru, and we should bow as often as possible. We should avoid sticking out our feet toward our teachers, which means everyone.

I believe in non-belief. Belief is a fixation. In my experience even the ground is not fixed.

I believe we give our bodies to the world as a sacred gift. Everything we do in the world is the gift of the body.

~Sarah W.

The Buddha, for me, is a reminder to live in the present. It's a fairly new concept for me, but is needed to control my mind and all of the negative thoughts that have started to take it over since the birth of my children. Death, disease, disasters.... hurt feelings, bullying , all have a way polluting my mind.

~ Live in the now ~

~Josh T.

I've always had a deep connection with God. Despite being raised Catholic, my relationship with a higher being has never been tied to an organized religion. I've come to this conclusion because I've stopped going to church on a regular basis. And despite that, my spritituality has grown and has gotten better over the years. I now consider myself more of being "culturally Catholic." It's hard not to be tied to the church one way or another when you're Filipino.

These days, instead of going to church, I find sanctuary in more common places or states of mind: our home's solarium in Boston, the beach where I grew up in San Francisco or just by closing my eyes and meditating. Also, I don't pray with the rosary anymore. In its place, I use prayer beads or anything close to it to be in touch with God (the non-white man with a flowing beard kind). It's liberating to not have the stereotypical image of God when you're praying, especially if you're a person of color like myself.

Another incredible spiritual capability I have is my knowing that there is something else in store for us after we die. I don't know exactly what it's going to be, I am just 110% sure that it will be incredible! Believing that our time here on earth is just a "stage" makes me want to be a better/good person. I know that whatever I do here, I will carry on to whatever is NEXT.

~Bren B.

Incubation. We're always preparing for what we don't know is coming yet. From the vantage point of the present we look back and see moments that define the past. What we lose sight of as the wheels of life turn is every choice we make is an opportunity to reinvent ourselves.

~Amber R.

Society has taught me many lessons. And being a good student, I have absorbed those lessons. For years I did more, strove to be better, and wanted the best. I set goals and reached them. I conformed to the group. I clung desperately to the way things were "supposed to be". I was fearful of something going wrong. I was frustrated. Asleep.

And then I woke up. (gently awakened by the purity of my children and the beauty outside)

Now I teeter on the edge, somewhere between knowing the truth and feeling it. I have chosen to relinquish my false sense of control over the world and to instead control my reactions to the world.

I am letting go. I am offering up my fear and resistance to God. I trust that I will be able handle anything that comes my way. I have faith that things are happening just as they are meant to.

I have found myself. Inspired. Alive!

I will not go back to sleep.

Absorbed in this world, you've made it your burden. Rise above this world. There is another vision. All your life you've paid attention to your experiences, but never to your Self. Are you searching for your Soul? Then come out of your prison. Leave the stream and join the river that flows into the Ocean. It will not lead you astray. Let the beauty you seek be what you do. -Rumi

~Michelle C.

My life is filled with spirituality every day. But it is not the spirituality most in our world think of. When I think of spirituality, and what drove me to develop the box for Revealed I think of my ability to connect with a higher feeling or higher sense of being - this to me is spiritual experience.

Growing up Catholic, though not overly religious, I had a spiritual connection/ experience whenever I stepped foot in the church. That same experience/connection that I felt then is present today for me through playing the piano and the beach, the two things that occupy my box. This is what helps me think and understand the intangible. They put me in a different place, a place so much more than the physical world....difficult often to verbalize.

Being part of Revealed was one of the most amazing spiritual experiences.......

~Jessica G.

The core essentials at the base of my journey are, and have always been largely musical.
With that perspective, the tuning fork stands to represent balance, harmony, melody, focus and a communal rhythm of life. All of us, tuning in, breathing in and sharing the creative energies of the world and the world beyond. Albeit, obvious or sublime.

A pine cone, a bird, the moon and stars, are nature. The philosophy; The power of words and art to connect us to each other. To our past, present and hopefully our future. Faith in the unknown, the possibilities, and the unrealized.

Music is life. Life is music. It is a constant. Natural, Internal, External, Eternal.

~Ian C.

Baking and generally bread making first came to me through my Grandmother. My family lived with her. It was one of the earliest and strongest bonds that I built with anyone.

Bread, in the most basic way represents my spiritual path. From working my hands through the dough and to the air bringing it to life.

The creative force making itself evident. I feel the immediate connection.

~Suzanne B.

My box appears empty. The emptiness can be looked at as devoid of anything, lacking or in some other way not good enough. in many was, that is how my mind thinks of this world... as wrong, needing to be fixed, going downhill, empty of enough people who care. But, in these moments (which are growing in number and intensity) where my spiritual beliefs surface into my mind and my heart, I remember that there is enough love, enough wonder, enough beauty, enough good deeds. There is enough. It is all there, waiting to be tapped into, waiting for our call.

I remember to be thankful before I experience it. I remember to behold the power of mind to create exactly what it dwells on, an so to dwell on love, peace, harmony, thankfulness, health and beauty. I remember that the essence of my soul is love itself, and that the spark of the divine is resting firmly inside the essence, as it is for all of us. I imagine tapping into the invisible and manifesting the incredible. And so, the box appears empty, but is really filled with the invisible potential for love to come alive, over and over and over again.

~Tiffany C.

Being a part of the "revealed" project, I was unaware of the profound experience that I was about to embark on. The "revealed" project gave me insight on how I viewed my life. I have a very close relationship with my family and not too long prior to doing the project I had lost my sister, Rasha, very tragically in an accident. The feelings associated with grief such as confusion, frustration, enraged and sorrow were trapped inside of my spiritual self all at the same time and I was lost. The order and placement of the objects in the revealed box represented the relationship I have with myself and the interests I shared with my sister Rasha. Organized and carefully placed with lots of love and colorful objects are all part of my "happy self", but within my spiritual state there was sadness and anger. I wanted to scream, scream from all the pain that I was feeling from loosing her, but I couldn't for whatever reason. I was fearful of letting go because that would make it real. The feeling of grief and sadness scared me so much that I felt I lost the ability to scream, talk and represent her.

Once I finished the process of this project, I felt empowered. Hope and a feeling of relieve came over me. Seeing the photograph captured every essence of my spiritual and emotional state that I was experiencing. Seeing it, I felt was very exposed and that helped in healing a little part of my spiritual self.

"There are many ways to define our fragile existence and many ways to give it meaning. It's our memories that shape its purpose and gives it content. The various private assortments of images, fears, loves, regrets and losses. The cruel irony of life is that we're destined to hold the dark with the light, the good with the evil and success with disappointments. In actuality in the end, that is what separates us and makes us human".

Kenji Miyazawa once said:
"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey"

These are very profound words to remember and live by.

~Suhair S.

The box could not hold it all, so I brought a box of my own: a Hercules Gunpowder Box, a fitting repository for my spirit. The plants are from my garden, my solace, my center, my place to connect to the bounty and wonder of the Universe. I filled my box with old wounds, many half-healed. Even as I stand under the lights, my back aches from the car crash. I question myself and my right to be here. I question my creative fire.

But on top of it all is a small wooden box, carved by my brother out of a single chunk of cedar. He carved it for me when I was young and full of boundless rage - some of it directed at him. He carved it with love, as an act of contrition that I did not come to fully understand until years after he had died. It is the most precious thing I own, this box. It represents hope and compassion for the wounded parts of me.

~Stephen R.

My connection to the universe is a child-like, playful feeling. Like laughter. And not a day goes by that I don't smile at God's mysteries, practical cosmic jokes, and wicked sense of humor! I feel it in my chest, as if it's been blown wide open with gratitude. It's a moving, flowing, spinning, sensation that every single thing is in simple perfection - feeling of connection to everyone, everything. And in those moments when I'm aware of my connection, I create the most unexplainable magic - helping remind me that I too am God and that anything is possible.

~Stephanie M.

I am playing God. Not by choice, but I know I'm playing that role.

My mother kept a journal underneath her nightstand. In it, she wrote letters to my father who had passed away a year or so prior to the said letters. I was 12 when I found the journal. Flipping through the morbid pages of my mother's unrestrained emotions and dismal desolation, I stopped and read. What would you do if you read about a mother voluntarily joining her lost love once her two sons were stable to live life without a mother? Old enough to not need the help of a mother. I closed the journal, tucked it back under the nightstand and remembered forever.

It's nine years later and both sons have grown. My brother, the successful one, is on his own and making a name for himself. He built a house, bought a fancy car. All on his own. Me? I still struggle. I still need my mother. I know I could do better. I could lead a successful life, and build my own home. But the longer I need my mother the longer she'll stay. What's a home without a mother? I am playing God; I am keeping her alive.

~Royce M.

Fire
An instant articulate violence: excitement and tumult.
The instance of combustion, oxidation, laughter.

~Rob R.

The Joy is in the Journey! The Journey from sad to happy, from fool to king, from bound to freedom, from isolation to expansion, from my heart to yours. Pack a toothbrush, take a towel and look for surprises along the way.

~Richard R.

Listen

~Jennifer B.

La Paloma The Dove - She is teaching me a language of love, peace, compassion, grace, imperfection and acceptance. It is a language so powerful, beautiful and expansive it creates wings in the expression and cannot be contained in a box.

~Jen T.

The ash represents the physical aspect of my being. The gold within, the light, is my spirit. My life, as I know it, is the tapestry whose weave is influenced by these two forces.

My body enables me to experience and to be in relation to others. This life of mine, and all comes with it, is my birthright- all the joy, pain, desire, sadness, hope, fears, uncertainty. It's a package deal. It is my spirit who gives this experience meaning and expands me.

There is awesome power in relationship. I believe the soul grows and thrives on that. My box holds a photo of my daughter Mira, and her birth mother, Mijired. This woman who lives half a world away, a woman I've never met, changed our lives forever. Her choices left an indelible impression on my soul. How will I leave my mark on this Earth? In whom?

My challenge in this life is to be mindful of what really matters. Can I let go of my need for security, for ambition, the desire to control outcomes and minimize risk?

After I draw my last breath and my soul is free again, what will I take with me and hold dear as my body melts away to dust?

~Jeff M.

I believe that life is never static. It is in constant motion. As living beings we must accept this, and keep up with the perpetual movement that affects both the body and psyche. No matter what happens to us, we must continue progressing forward and stay the course. We must never stop growing and evolving, for when we do, life stops.

What do we ultimately want when we die? To be remembered... to know that our life had meaning? To have lived a "successful" life? I can say that I never hesitated in my life. I never made a decision NOT to do something because of fear or uncertainty.

~Jayne P.

Choosing symbols for my box would likely be different on any given day, but my revelations would likely be similar. The box rests on a book; not just any book. It is a high school yearbook which represents a major passion and theme in my life -- teaching. I started out as a high school art teacher. Teaching is a form of giving. Painting represents, to me, a kind of going to the well for fuel. The two small prints are representative of a collection of over a thousand small prints created in the three months after 9/11. I was mesmerized and sat in front of the TV, painting everyone who appeared on the screen. The pastels symbolize a lifetime love of color. A headset plugs into my MAC or to my telephone and connects me to the outside world and allows the world to become my classroom. The sounding of the small Tibetan bell reminds me to breathe when stressed.

I see the box as symbols for the relationships between giving and receiving. There are people on the planet who give if they get. There are people on the planet I describe as takers. It feels so good to take that they need to take more. There are others who give and that feels so good they give more. That is where I used to live until I ran out of gas. Today I focus on another possible configuration. I receive in order to give. In that sense, creating is receiving the energy of the Universe and giving, which for me is teaching, is a giveaway of what I have received. That means living a life of conscious balance.

~Ian S.

Spirit is as individual as fingerprints. I find spiritual connection to be a sort thin layer above intellectual thinking and certainly far from anything physical. It can border on an emotional feeling and can contain elements of religion and/or belief, but I think it can also be simpler than that. I believe spirit supports a certain level of mindful awareness that requires no effort whatsoever once you have discovered it. It takes much effort to reach that point of course and it needs constant maintenance and use, but once you have found the real you and what make you "you", you should develop and nurture your spirit so it gives you what you need.

For me, I need to have balance in my life. No thing should ever be in excess and all things needs to be centered towards an inner spirit, a sort of calming happiness, and certainly a strong sense of balance. My spirit has no face, no structure, and no name. Good food is important to me as well as having fun. Maybe this is my spirit's face. Maybe this is what make me "me".

~Heather W.

Who am I without Christ?
No one. With out him, I am just meaningless traits.
He is my peace + my hope.
The cross with the heart represents my relationship with Christ. The cross is made from a butterfly bush, representing new birth + life. The broken glass represents my imperfections; the human part of me. I love Christ, but I still screw up. The nails represent the pain of life. Just because I have hope doesn't mean my life is all rainbows + unicorns - its hard and will never not be hard, but now it's not bleak.
Without Christ, my "spirit self" wouldn't even be worth a picture.

~Harleigh U.

I wanted my box empty because my life is empty. I don't have anything left to put in it. I wanted my box to be collapsed because I lost everyone and everything in my life that meant something to me. I have little hope.

After feeling how empty the box was I started to have some hope and I wanted to find a way to put the box together again. To refill it with new things and people in my life.

After this photo shoot, I have found a new direction - a new spark. After touching the box, this had a profound effect on me - making me look into myself for a new person and items to fill the box with.

~Elmer P

The yin-yang symbol is a traditional Chinese symbol. Many children use it when they are drawing doodles, thinking it symbolizes something close to the traditional peace symbol. In fact, the yin-yang symbolizes the way life works. The outer circle represents "everything", while the black and white shapes within the circle represent the interaction of two energies, called "yin" (black) and "yang" (white), which causes everything to happen. They are not completely black or white, just as things in life are not completely black or white, and one cannot exist without the other.

The hemp is crossed all over the face of the box, because the path through life is not as straight and as smooth as everybody would like it to be. It covers the sign saying hope, meaning the road through life takes awhile to get through, and although at times it may seem like you should give up, hope is always there, all through the ways of life, hope can be found. Even in the worst of times. Hope is a light in a dark room, that one light can seem like a million stars in the pitch of night.

~Cassidy W.

All the elements are part of earth.
I am part of the earth.
The earth is part of me.

~Caitlin I.

Nature's guiding force moves me to create good through the spirits of my youth; the Boy Scout Law and enlightenment lit by the many bulbs of the GE sign over Edison's empire. My restless spirit overflows the box, measuring the infinite.

~Bill W.